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I (Fill in Name) Am Running for President; Can 'I' Get YOUR Vote?? |
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Thursday, 24 July 2008 |
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I NEED YOUR VOTE! I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE FOR PRESIDENT!!!
HERE IS MY PLATFORM:
(1) Automated telephone recordings stating "Press 1 for English" will be immediately banned. English is the official language, speak it or wait at the border until you can.
(2) We will immediately go into a two year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude. NO imports, no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart policy 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'
(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.
(4) Military personnel will man our many observation towers on the southern border. They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.
(5) Social security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you ain't gettin nuttin out. The president nor any other politician will be able to touch it.
(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade, as you and/or your children will attend school to better yourself.
(7) Professional Athletes/Steroids - The FIRST time you check positive/banned for life.
(8) One export will be allowed, Wheat, The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.
(9) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.
The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress.
The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc.
Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes but a vote for me will get you better than what you have, and better than what you're gonna get. Thanks for listening, and remember to write in my name on the ballot in November. God bless America !
Who wants to be my VP ???
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